Too Much of a Modeling Thing
by greecemexicolatvia
Summary: James has always dreamed of being a model. But when he finally gets an opportunity, James ends up getting too famous.
1. Chapter 1

"How about this one?" asked Katie. She, Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were lazing around on the weekend, and Katie was reading them riddles. "Okay" said Katie. "Yyuryyubicuryy4me." "That's not a riddle!" Carlos protested. "Wait, I think the icur is I see you are" Kendall announced. And I think the 4me is…" "To wise you are, too wise you be, I see you are too wise for me" said Logan in one breath. "Oh…yeah!" said Kendall, deciphering the riddle, too.

"Good" said Katie. "I'm bored," complained James. "Wanna play some hockey on the street?" "_What _did you say?" Mrs. Schmidt, (Kendall's mom) demanded. "Oh…he said wanna play with our walkie talkies, and get something to eat" Katie said. "Oh, well never mind then" Mrs. Schmidt said, disappearing down the hall to do her daily wipe down of Kendall's room.

The boys snuck out of the apartment with their hockey equipment. Carlos was lugging a huge duffel bag with him. They started setting up by the pool. James made sure he was the one sitting closest to the girls. "Hey remember that time where I hit Kendall in the stomach with a hockey puck?" Carlos asked. "That hurt!" Kendall said indignantly, while all of them laughed.

"Yeah, well Carlos is a destructo" Logan said. "Oh, stop using all your big vocabulary words on me!" Carlos said, bristling. "How is destructo big?" Logan said dismissively. "Well, I'm the one who smacked the hockey puck at Logan!" James said. "Yeah, and that's something to be proud of" Logan muttered.

"Hi Jo!" yelled Kendall to her, as she passed by holding a pool noodle. "Oh, hi Kendall" she said. "Someone's been messing around with the clock in my apartment" Jo said. "Don't worry, we'll leave Kendall and Jo to reflect on things together" chortled James.

Jo have James an annoyed look. "We were _talking",_ she muttered. "It could be called that!" James said. "Bye Kendall" Jo huffed, and she stalked off. "Nice James" Logan said. "What?" James said. "You just want all the girls for you" Carlos said. "You just noticed that?" Kendall said looking a bit put out that Jo had left.

The boys picked up their hockey sticks and started walking across the lawn. They nearly collided with Katie as she was coming out the door. "Ooh, hockey, can I play?" she asked enthusiastically. She made a beeline for Carlos's hockey stick. "Um…Katie, you can't play with us!" Kendall said, trying not to sound urgent. Katie grabbed the hockey stick, and swung it around.

"Stop!" scolded Kendall. "Katie, these are _our _hockey sticks, which we paid money for! These aren't lightsabers, okay?"

"Can't I play?" Katie pleaded. The boys shook their heads, and then shut their eyes, already prepared for the dose of puppy dog eyes she was about to give them. That gave Katie the opportunity to sock Kendall on the arm.

Camille was also coming out the door, and she walked straight up to them, and said "Hallo. Jeg kommer fra Skandinavia. Jeg har nettopp flyttet hit, sa… um…" "Did I go crazy, or is it just you again?" James asked. Camille didn't bother hitting him. She just slumped her shoulders. "I'll never learn Norweigan in time for the play!" she said.

"Logie can help you" James smirked, shoving Logan forward. It was an added bonus for James to see Logan's face turn completely red. "Yeah, and you'll need another player" Katie said. "So I can play for him!" Logan shot James an apprehensive look, before Camille dragged him off.

"Come on!" Katie said. The hockey game was very annoying, involving Katie shooting at the wrong goal, Katie throwing her hockey stick, Katie knocking down the net, and Katie's helmet falling off. Carlos had to run out into the street to retrieve his brand new hockey puck, which Katie had hit under the wheels of a car.

Carlos walked back with his dented hockey puck, looking grouchy. "Katie!" he grumbled. "You don't even know how to hold the stick right!" James agreed. "Well, I'm too short!" Katie complained. "We told you that you couldn't play" Kendall said, exasperated.

Katie hit her brother on the arm. "Fine!" she cried. "You guys think I'm too young to do everything!" She took off her helmet, and threw it down. "Katie…" Kendall said, but Katie had already stormed off. "That helmet could of hit my hair!" James said indignantly. "Lucky can activate his self defense mode!" Kendall and Carlos both rolled their eyes. James had to stop every 30 seconds in the game to stop, get out his mirror and comb, fix his hair up, and put his helmet on again.

"Well, sorry to break the news to you, but in hockey, your hair gets messed up" Kendall said to James. "That's why I want to be a model some day…" said James wistfully.

As they continued playing, James sighed. He needed an opportunity to be a model, but one had never come to him, except that one where he had to model elbow cream, which meant his elbow was the only thing in the picture. James sighed again.

Besides, where would he go to model? He didn't know any modeling places! Wait one second! James's stomach jolted. He whipped out his mirror. Oh no! His hair was getting limp again!


	2. Chapter 2

James knew he was meant to be a model. But he also knew that there were absolutely no modeling jobs available. So he couldn't get one. But maybe bandanna man could! James's eyes lit up. He threw his hockey stick behind him. "What the…" said Kendall as the hockey stick clattered to the ground. But James was already sprinting back to the Palm Woods.

James frantically pushed the buttons on the elevator. When he got to 2J, he hammered on the door. A confused Mrs. Schmidt opened it. James whipped past her, and ran to his room in the hall. James got on all his bandannas, glanced at himself in the mirror, and ran out again. James skidded to a halt, when he heard Katie complain, "I can't get my phone to work!" James ran into her room. "Feeling frustrated?" James asked her. "Don't worry, bandanna man can fix all your problems!"

Katie stared at James for a full ten seconds. The ripped a bandanna right off his forehead, and tossed it over her shoulder. "Hey!" James cried, running to retrieve the bandanna. "I was just trying to help!" "Like you could fix a phone" Katie snorted.

James suddenly felt like an idiot. Katie was no fun. He walked into the living room, and then sat down on the couch, where Camille was talking to Logan with a big grin on her face. Her lines lay untouched on Mrs. Schmidt's coffee table. James rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to get some juice.

As James opened the refrigorator, Mrs. Schmidt glanced critically at all James's bandannas. "I don't think you should wear those bandannas" Mrs. Schmidt remarked. "I mean Katie could get really scared!" "You should stop treating her like a toddler" James said to Mrs. Schmidt. She frowned, and continued to dust the counter.

As James walked back into the living room, he sat down on the couch. Logan took one look at James and yelled "AHH!" "What?" said James, bewildered. That seemed to freak Logan out, and he jumped up from the couch, and ran down the hall.

"Wait!" said James running after him. Apparently Logan had not seen bandanna man before. Pity. When Logan reached Kendall's room, he made a beeline for the swirly slide, and climbed up it. "Logan, it's me, James!" James said. "That's you?" Logan squeaked, peeking out from the top of the swirly slide. "I'm bandanna man", said James, puffing out his chest proudly.

James turned around, to see Camille rounding on him. "Why did you scare him like that?" she demanded. "Calm down, I guess people around here don't _like _bandanna man" James said. Just as Camille left, Kendall and Carlos burst through the door. Kendall was groaning, and Carlos was cheering. It was so loud, that it even caused Katie to enter the living room to see what all the racket was.

"Woo hoo!" Carlos cheered, swinging his hockey stick above his head. "And he told _me_ not to swing that thing!" Katie said. "I can do it, because I'm a super Hollywood party king of Hollywood." Carlos announced. "I party everywhere! Even in every part of every desert!" "You can't party in every part of _any _desert!" Logan said. "The only way you could live in a desert is if you're on an oasis! And then you'd have to be a Bedouin, and ride in a caravan…"

"He nailed me with a hockey puck!" Kendall protested, flopping onto the couch. "Oh, Kendall, do you need an ice pack?" Mrs. Schmidt said at once.

"No, I'm fine, really!" said Kendall, but he kept rubbing his side painfully. "Is it lunchtime yet?" Carlos asked. "He peeked in the cabinets. "Carlos, you have a one track mind," Logan said. "Honestly, do you always have to act like a bottomless pit?" "Well, being an ice cream taster wouldn't be a half bad job…" said Carlos thoughtfully. They all rolled their eyes. "That's so not cool" James told Carlos. "Modeling is cool. But I can't find one agency that will hire me!"

"Have you looked in the phone book?" Mrs. Schmidt suggested. "No" James admitted. "I only called a couple agencies" He got up to get the phone book. "You can look on the internet too" said Mrs. Schmidt. She stared at the other three boys pointedly. "What…you want _us _to help find a modeling job for James?" Kendall asked. "Hey, that's a great idea!" said James grinning.

Logan sighed, but took out his laptop to search for modeling agencies. "Carlos can help me," said James. Carlos started looking in the phone book too. "I can help Logan!" Katie said. "No, Kendall can, you're too small" James said. "Kendall, you help Logan.

"I look forward to it," said Kendall dryly. He got up. Katie stormed off, back into her room. "Ignored as usual," she was muttering.

**TEN HOURS LATER: **

"I can't find one thing!" Carlos moaned. "We've been at it for hours!" "Shush" said James, who was using Kendall's computer to look up modeling jobs. "Jobs cost money," said Katie in a singsong voice, who was eating dinner with her mom.

"Did you guys have any luck?" said James, turning to Logan and Kendall. Logan was asleep, using the phone book as a pillow, and Kendall was staring into space. "Nothing" said Kendall.

James kicked the couch. He wasn't ready to give up just yet. "Can't we go to bed?" Kendall suggested weakly.

"Oh fine, give up on me!" James said. "Well, to prove I'm cool, I'll stay up all night!"

"Can I go for a walk?" Katie asked. "Katie, it's nearly eight thirty!" Mrs. Schmidt said. "Mom, _please,_" Katie pleaded. Her eyes were wide, and she looked really nervous. "Okay, but be back _very _soon, and call me" said her mother, but Katie was already sprinting out the door.

No one except Mrs. Schmidt felt like questioning Katie's behavior. The boys usually stayed up much later, but unusually tired, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all went to bed, while James sat on the living room floor, muttering to himself, his eyes glued to the screen.


	3. Chapter 3

When Mrs. Schmidt went downstairs to make breakfast, she was appalled. When James said that he was going to stay up all night, she didn't really take him seriously. And unless he had faked it with a lot of makeup, James looked really tired. His eyes were half open, and there were purple blotches under his eyes. Mrs. Schmidt also noticed that James's hair was limp and lifeless, and he had not even taken his comb out of his pocket.

"Oh, look, it's eight A.M., " James muttered. He yawned, and then stumbled off down the hall to wake up the others. Kendall was still asleep, so James paid Katie ten dollars to jump on Kendall's bed, screaming, "WAKE UP!"

When James entered Logan's room, Logan was already up, reading some math book so fast his eyes were blurred. "Logan, you have to help me, remember?" James said. "Six to the fourth power, carry the one…what James?" said Logan.

James made an impatient noise. "Um, professor Logan, when you come out of geek mode, you need to help me find a modeling job!" James cried.

He stormed out of Logan's room, and into Carlos's room. James didn't feel like putting his feet on Carlos's floor, afraid he was going to step on a knife or a piece of glass, or something. So James had to yell "WAKE UP!" seventeen times before Carlos jumped to his feet.

Kendall had to help his mom make breakfast, and Katie recorded it on a video camera, even the part where Mrs. Schmidt forced Kendall into an apron and a baking hat. "I think I might have found a modeling job!" Carlos announced. He showed James the ad in the newspaper.

"That is a beauty pageant for ten years or younger", said James. "Oops" said Carlos, reading the ad more carefully. "Mom, I'm going to the pool, be right back!" said Katie, zipping past her mother and dashing out the door. "Why's Katie in such a hurry?" Kendall wondered.

"I don't know", said Mrs. Schmidt slowly. "She usually hangs out inside. But lately, she's been nearly begging me to go outside!" Kendall shrugged his shoulders, and kept mixing the pancake batter.

"I called some agency, but they're already full!" said Carlos unhappily. James sighed. Would he ever be a model? Who knows? After breakfast, the boys went out by the pool. James didn't think the pool was the best place to concentrate, but when Kendall offered him a smoothie, James's appetite won over since he hadn't had breakfast. They sat on the pool chairs, and sipped their smoothies while they looked for James's job.

None of them seemed very keen on helping James. Carlos was too entranced in his smoothie to even open his laptop. "James, maybe you should get some sleep", Kendall advised. "That's a joke, right?" James said, disbelievingly. Kendall had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.

Logan has his head resting on his arms, and was staring over at Camille on the other side of the pool. "Hey Logan" said James, his temper rising. "I absolutely _adore _watching Camille paint her nails and talk to Jo, but _you haven't even opened your phone book yet_!" "What…yeah I have!" said Logan, quickly opening the phone book.

Then, they saw Katie sprinting towards them, screaming "GUYS! YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!" "I really need a job", said James sourly. "Yeah, and I really need a refill" said Carlos, turning his empty smoothie cup upside down. "You know what?" said James. "I'll go and ask Camille and Jo if they have any ideas!" He threw his phone book behind him, and ran off to the other side of the pool.

"Hi guys" James said to Camille and Jo. "What do you want?" asked Jo knowingly. "A modeling job" James muttered. "Look in the phone book" Jo said to him. "Duh." "DO YOU THINK I HAVE ALREADY NOT TRIED THAT?" James exploded.

"Well, why don't you just start your own agency?" Camille suggested. There. It hit James right in the face. "That's perfect!" he yelled. James threw his arms around Camille. Camille, looking horrified, muttered, "James, you're suffocating me!" James jumped up. "I have to tell the others!" he cried.

But just then, Logan yelled from the other side of the pool, "JAMES! I'VE GOT A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM!" "I wonder what's got Logan all excited" Jo mused. "He probably spotted a piece of math homework", sniggered James.

Jo rolled her eyes. "Logan isn't cool," said James. "He's just so…" "Charming," sighed Camille. "Yeah, maybe to you" James said.

He ran over to Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and Katie. "Okay, what happened?" said Carlos. "I could see Camille's eyes bugging out from here!" "Never mind that, what's my solution?" said James, all at once.

"Katie has it all figured out", said Kendall. James stared at Katie. "Oh no" said James. "No, no, not one of your crazy schemes _again_! Camille had an idea! I can set up my own modeling studio!"

"How?" asked Carlos. "You know,…" said James. "You need money!" Carlos continued. "Money? Money? I have all the money in the world!" James said. His eyes bulged slightly. "James, are you feeling alright?" Logan inquired. "Fine!" James dismissed this with a wave of his hand.

"Well, actually, I was thinking along the same lines", said Katie slowly. "You should set up a modeling studio." "Great, but I don't know how!" James said impatiently. Katie grinned slyly. "Don't worry", she said. "You know how I've been telling mom that I need to go on walks and get out of the house?" she asked.

"Oh, don't tell me…" said James grinning.


	4. Chapter 4

Katie sighed. "The thing is", she said. "Only James can see his studio." "Hey!" Carlos cried. "Why can't we?"

"Privileged information" Katie said. She seized James by the arm, and dragged him off.

"Where are we going?" said James, curious. He was still in shock. He would have his own modeling job! "Oh, just somewhere perfect I found" was all Katie said. "Now" said Katie. "You have to triple swear not to tell any of the boys. Kendall and Logan will rat on you because…um…the way I'm getting your modeling studio isn't exactly legal. And Carlos would spill the beans, mom will blow her cover, she'll tell Mr. Bitters, Gustavo will find out, he'll scream for an hour straight, causing an earthquake, and when he finally recovers, you'll be booted out of your singing career, and you'll go back to being a nothing."

"STOP!" James yelled. "THIS IS TORTURE! I WILL **NEVER **TELL! EVER!"

Katie, satisfied, crossed the road, and kept on walking. Half an hour later James moaned, "Is this place even in California?" "Relax, it's only been three miles. We're almost there!" Katie tried to assure him.

Katie jumped off the sidewalk onto the lawn of a house, and yelled "Ta da!" James, grinning, looked up at the house. His smile melted right off his face. Because the house was a mess. Because it was painted grey, but the paint was chipping off. The windows were cracked, there were clumps of moss hanging from the windows, and the air was filled with the smell of mold.

"THIS MOLDY CRUMBLING CRAZY HOUSE OF DOOM IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY _**MODELING STUDIO?"**_ James shouted, enraged, then he quickly composed himself. He didn't want his voice to get hoarse.

"No, I'll fix it up!" Katie assured him. "How the lucky comb will you do that?" James snorted. Katie just grinned, and said, "Go home. I'll have it fixed up. Come back tonight, and it will be all ready. I'll meet you outside the Palm Woods at twelve midnight."

"Gee, thanks for making me walk three miles", said James. "Well…I just wanted you to know all the details involved", said Katie. James had to ask a crossing guard the way back to the Palm Woods. When he finally arrived, James collapsed into a pool chair, and lay there for a moment, thinking.

_Katie got me a modeling job. That's a good thing, right? And besides, what can a ten year old do that's against the law? And even if it is against the law, Katie will find a way out of it. She always does. _

James got up, and took the elevator to Kendall's room. James had just enough time to open the door, and register Mrs. Schmidt's worried face, before she was yelling,_ "What has gotten into you? Where have you been? Where's Katie?" _

"Katie's…um, playing with Tyler", said James, stepping past Mrs. Schmidt, and inside. Kendall was eating a sandwich, Carlos was watching Iron Man with growing excitement, and Logan was curled up, reading.

"You see", said James. "I was…uh, just taking Katie on a walk." Mrs. Schmidt frowned. "Well, I expect her to be back soon, James, because I really don't think Tyler can supervise Katie."

James plopped down on the couch, and slipped on his lucky bandanna. He picked up Logan's book. "Hey!" said Logan. "H.G. Wells" said James, reading the cover. "How can you read, this, it's like hundreds of pages long!" "I _like _books" said Logan, snatching his book back.

When it was bedtime, James told Mrs. Schmidt that Katie was sleeping over at Tyler's house. "Do you really think we should just let her sleep in Tyler's house, without all us to comfort her if she gets scared?" Mrs. Schmidt inquired.

"Oh, she won't get scared", said James in an offhand voice. He went into Kendall's room, and lied in his bed. All the boys had beds set up in there. Logan was asleep in ten minutes, Kendall was asleep in fifteen, and Carlos fell asleep in a couple hours. James kept checking his watch. He never actually wore it, because Kendall wore a watch, and did not look cool.

James kept pinching himself, and giving himself warnings not to drift off. Eventually, he had to end up holding his eyelids open. _Finally_ his watch said 12:00, and James snuck downstairs. Katie had once taught him a way to sneak down the stairs without making a lot of noise. Once James reached the ground, he stepped as lightly as he could into the kitchen, and then bumped into someone.

There was silence, and then he heard Logan yelling "Help! 911! 911! I'm getting kidnap…" But James had the sense to hiss "Shush, it's me, James!" Logan switched on the light, and stared at James suspiciously. "What're you doing up, I was just getting some water!"

"Um…well… you see… that is, I… just, well, um…" James said. Logan raised his eyebrows, and said "Katie told you to meet her, because she's waiting outside. I don't think she knows I know she's here." "Right" said James, embaressed.

He snuck outside, in front of the pool, and saw Katie sitting on a chair. "Oh, hi" said Katie. "Come on, let's scram, before we get caught"

"So" said James, as they walked. "You made the dump into a suitable place for modeling? Because honestly, that thing looks like Carlos's future home." "Relax" said Katie. "I got it all worked out. But _how _I did it? Well… the only reason I picked the house is because it's really big. The people that lived in the house…well, I arranged for their car to, ah…get crushed. That drove them out of the house. I called some expert builders, painters, everyone was there. I just bribed them with a couple hundred bucks, and they got to work on the house."

James didn't ask how Katie had a couple hundred bucks with her.

"Anyway" Katie continued, "I learned the hard way that no-one less than experts should be repairing the _real _damage."

"What do you mean?" James inquired.

"All I'm saying is those bathrooms were a mess", Katie said, scrunching up her nose at the memory. "Never mind, I didn't ask that" James said.

"Anyway" said Katie. "It took a lot of work to get the building just right. I had to clean up all the broken glass, and repaint the walls, and pick the weeds off the lawn."

When they reached Murchinson Street, Katie was nearly quivering with excitement. "Okay…any second…here it is!" said Katie.

James expected an awesome modeling studio, but he was completely wrong. His mouth fell open, but he was incapable of speech.


	5. Chapter 5

Because Katie hadn't fulfilled James's dream.

She had _completely _crossed the line. It was beyond perfect. It was more than James could of ever hope for. He could hardly draw breath.

The house looked nearly three stories higher. The windowpanes were solid gold, and the doorknob was jewel encrusted. The lawn was perfectly mown, and the door was molded out of see through colored glass. It had a purple ladder running down the side of it. Dozens and dozens of trees in the front yard were covered in ripe fruit. The whole lawn was covered with flowers. The sidewalk was covered in different stones and jewels that James had never seen in his life. And on the front of the house it said, _James Maslow's modeling studio in fancy cursive letters. _

But the best part was the glass tube, starting on the end of the front lawn, and twisting up the side of the house, and disappearing into a hole in the roof. Inside the glass tube was a golden train, except it wasn't exactly a train. The shape was wrong.

"That glass tube…" said James. "Holds the world's first monorail made entirely out of pure gold!" Katie said impressively. "A monorail?" James screamed. "Katie, you're too much!"

"Oh, would it be considered too much if I gave you a ride inside, using the monorail?" Katie asked innocently.

"No way!" exclaimed James, jumping up and down. He raced to the glass tube. Katie got down next to him in the drivers seat. "You can drive?" James demanded. "I don't have to drive, stupid!" said Katie. "Do you want the honor of pushing the green button to activate the monorail?" Katie asked him, grinning.

James ecstatically pushed the button. There was a low rumbling noise. It got louder and higher, and suddenly the monorail shot off so fast through the tube, that it took James a couple of seconds to realize they were moving.

The monorail was vibrating in sharp jerky movements. Katie looked like she was having the time of her life. They zoomed through the tube and came out the other end of the tube.

"Katie" said James, stunned. "I don't even know how I can thank you!"

"Well, you can give me all of your spare cash" Katie suggested. James pulled out a handful of the money from his pocket, and gave it to Katie, not sorry he had given it u at all.

There was loud music playing in the room, and James realized they were standing on the modeling walkway. It was just like a modeling studio! It had the waiting room, the seats, and everything else.

Katie also told him that she had devoted an entire floor of the modeling place just for James. She had provided him with a bedroom, living room, kitchen dining room, bathroom, pool room, game room, and even a section with enough space to play hockey, and not bump into things.

"Woo hoo!" James yelled, happily. He dashed onto the game room, and played arcade games with Katie for an hour. Most of the arcade games were ones that James had never seen in his life. Then James played hockey with Katie as goalie. Katie was horrible at blocking the puck, but James didn't mind.

"James, we should get down to business, said Katie after a while.

"Pipe down, will you, I'm trying to remember how to kill Little bunny Foo Foo", said James, who was busy with arcade games again.

"But we need you to get a modeling agency to come to your studio and have you model" Katie reminded him. "It's not like you're gonna earn money sitting around and doing Attack of the Killer Little Bunny Foo Foo."

"True", said James. "Who should we call…" but he stopped short, looking at the jewel-encrusted clock.

"Katie" he said. "It's six o'clock. Katie jumped a foot in the air. "Is it?" she cried. "Oh, I lost track of time! James, we have to get going _now._"

"Cant I at least ambush Little bunny Foo Foo?" James pleaded. "_We have to get going! Don't you understand? You'll have to dig me up from the ground if you ever want to see your modeling studio again, because mom will __**murder **__me_!" Katie yelled, grabbing James's arm in a vice like grip.

They raced out of the house through the door, this time. Katie was running so hard, James was afraid she was going to pull his arm out of his socket. For the first twenty minutes, they ran like crazy without stopping.

But eventually, Katie was getting more tired and out of breath. "Okay" she panted, turning to face James. "We'll make up an excuse, we'll do something…" "Katie, the Palm Woods!" James exploded, pointing over her shoulder.

Katie turned around, spotted their hotel, and made a mad dash toward it. They didn't stop running until they were outside Kendall's apartment. "We're safe!" said Katie in disbelief. "I can't believe it!"

They quietly pushed open the door, and Katie and James silently departed for their rooms.

When James got inside, a floorboard creaked under his foot. "Shh!" James told his foot. As he got in bed, it made a loud _creeeeak _under him. James looked up in alarm, but Carlos just did a few sleepy grunts, and Logan muttered something about his homework, but slept on.

James scowled. _Why did everything seem so loud in the nighttime? _He fell asleep extremely quickly, and had the strangest dream…

He was inside the arcade game screen. Katie was outside it, and she was aiming at him with a laser, and shooting bandannas at him. "You loded a laser with my _bandannas_?" James cried. He tried to grab them up. Then he fell through the screen of the game. "AHHHHHHHH" James yelled as he plummeted through the ground.

James woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He felt sick. Bandanna abuse! He got unsteadily out of bed, and counted all his bandannas to make sure they all were there. Then he went back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

James woke up the next morning. The memory of last night floated back into his head.

He couldn't believe that Katie had done all that for him in one day. He got up and yawned a few times. He had probably slept for two hours.

He was about to leave the room, when he heard Logan say "James!" James jumped. "What?" he asked, trying not to show that he was tired or worried.

"What did you and Katie do last night?" he asked. "I know she was waiting for you outside, James. Did you go to the modeling studio?"

"Uh…yeah" said James. "Did you like it?" Logan asked. "Uh…it was just like a normal modeling studio", James said. Katie had told him not to tell.

After breakfast, Katie had given James the address of the modeling studio, so he could visit whenever he wanted. "James, you should come today", Katie added. "I called an agency. They'll pay you to model."

"Okay" said James. James and Katie noticed Carlos was still sleeping in his bed. A sign on the door read 'Whichever barnacle nose dares to come in my room will pay, and suffer the consequenses. P.S. Do not rip the sign off the door or you will die.

"He spelled consequences wrong" Logan said, as he passed them in the hallway. James ripped the paper off Carlos's door. "Oh no, I'm gonna die" said James in a monotone voice. Katie laughed loudly.

That afternoon, James was supposed to be at the modeling studio, but he felt like he should be hanging around the pool and acting cool. Maybe he would see suntan lotion girl, who had just moved into the Palm Woods.

So he, Logan, and Kendall spent the whole afternoon in lounge chairs, in front of the pool.

"So" James was saying. "My most embarrassing moment in modeling was when I was shooting a picture of myself, and Carlos came running over."

"Oh no, I can see where this is going" said Kendall.

"So" said James. "Carlos ripped Lucky off my head, and I jumped on him, and then the camera took the picture, and I was forced to send it into an agency."

"I'll bet they were charmed" Kendall laughed. "Hardly" James muttered darkly. "I lost the modeling opportunity! Carlos is so immature!"

"Yeah, you're a real mature yourself" Logan told James. "Besides, my worst moment was when I mixed up the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path in a test about India!"

"Oh no!" cried James in mock surprise. "I know!" said Logan. "I studied it seventeen times afterward, so I'd have it stuck in my head."

James started to make another snide remark, but his words were drowned out by Camille, yelling something dramatically from the other side of the pool.

"Wonder what Camille's practicing for this time" Kendall said. "I don't know, but she loves Logan!" James sang.

Logan jerked his head around. "No!" he said. "Um, the picture of us in the Pop Tiger magazine she has hanging on her wall…well, she kisses your picture before she goes to sleep" James smirked.

Logan made a squeaky noise. James then spotted suntan lotion girl, but before he could make a beeline for her, a furious Katie strode over to him. "_Where have you been?" _she scolded, pulling him away from Kendall and Logan. "James, you have to model in front of a live agency in exactly forty-five minutes! No more lazing around! I had you write down where your agency was! Now I have to walk you there again! Now march!"

James felt self conscious about being dragged along by a yelling ten year old, but he went with her. Luckily, Kendall and Logan were too far away to hear or see. He hoped they weren't too suspicious.

Once Katie and James arrived at the modeling studio, James started to walk to the monorail, but Katie shook her head. "It'll waste to much time", she told him, fitting a key in the front door of the studio, and thrusting it open.

James had never seen this part of his studio before. A giant maroon curtain hung, not providing much space for them to walk.

"James" said Katie. Get up to your wardrobe room; it's down the hall, to the left. Pick out some clothes, look good, and get back here! You have to get a good score before the modeling agency accepts you. Now, go get your clothes!"

It took James a couple of seconds to register what she had said, because Katie was talking faster than Logan when he was explaining about how to turn fractions into decimals.

James darted down the hall, and bolted into the room Katie had mentioned. He went through all his clothing choices. Hmm…nothing really his type. I the end, James put on his modeling clothes. Feeling pleased about how good he looked, he went back to the room backstage the runway, where Katie was waiting.

"Oh good!" said Katie relieved. "James, just remember…" Katie's jaw dropped. She gaped at James.

"What?" said James uneasily, shifting his feel to the side.

But Katie just kept staring at James, drop jawed, lost for words.


	7. Chapter 7

"_You dressed up as bandanna man?" _Katie hollered in his face. And the shouting match began.

"I LOVE BANDANNA MAN, AND IF I DO, THE CROWD WILL TOO!"

"UM, BANDANNA MAN IS **NOT **ONE OF YOUR CHOSEN MODELING OULFITS!"

"YES! I CHOSE HIM!"

"OH, WILL YOU GROW UP?"

"AND INTRODUCING JAMES MASLOW!"

Katie and James both looked at each other. "That wasn't part of the shouting match" James said, confused. "No, idiot, this is your cue to get onstage!" Katie informed him.

James took deep calming breaths. "No time, just go" Katie said. As James stepped out from behind the curtain, Katie muttered, "Oh, I can't watch. I can't even listen!" she plugged her ears.

James walked onto the stage. The noise of the crowd died immediately. James, unsure, started to walk down the runway. He tried to act like a model, and remember his cool poses, but they were all foggy in his brain.

"What's he wearing?" a little boy muttered, who was sitting next to one of the judges.

James tried to smile. "Hey, look!" said a lady, pointing to Katie, who was peeking out from a gap in the blinds. "She's his manager! She gave him the costume!"

They all stared at her. Katie squirmed her shoulders. "I'm only _sort of _his manager." She tried to say.

As James stood in front of the runway, he knew what do. He yelled, "Need some help? No fear, Bandanna Man is here!"

James smiled, and pulled a blond boy with a toy boat, and a red haired girl with a hairbow onto the stage.

"Oh, look, this boy broke his boat!" James yelled grabbing the boat from the boy and breaking it behind his back. "Looks like bandanna man can fix it!" James laughed. He took a purple bandanna from his pocket, and fastened the bandanna around the boat.

"Here you go little boy!" James said.

Meanwhile, Katie was watching James, growing more and more embarrassed. This was a modeling show, not a…a…crude display of Superman!

James then froze onstage. Carlos was in the audience, yelling "Go James! Bandanna Man!" _What are you doing here? _James mouthed to Carlos.

Carlos, oblivious, was jumping up and down, cheering James.

_Oh great, _James thought. _He's gonna ruin it for me again!_

But then the little boy with the toy boat started to clap with Carlos. So did the girl with the hairbow. He was sure he heard someone yell "GO BANDANNA MAN!"

But most of the people in the back rows were craning their necks; they couldn't see him. James looked at Katie for help, and she made a throwing motion with her arm. James suddenly understood. He ripped a bandanna off his arm and flung it as far as he could into the audience.

"Just remember", said James, as people scrambled around trying to catch his bandanna. "If you ever need help, Bandanna Man is here!"

Then he exited through the curtain, went back to his dressing room, put on his normal modeling clothes, put on some 'cuda teeth whitener, and dashed back in front of the curtain.

He walked down the runway, but then heard someone shout, "Who's this guy?"

James realized that they didn't recognize him because before, the bandannas were covering his face. So he pulled a bandanna from his vest pocket, and held it out for everyone to see.

The crowd burst into applause. James just stood there. Katie meanwhile was talking nervously to the judges. There were three of them, all dressed in black. Katie muttered to them as she wrote on a clipboard.

Then, Katie came prancing over. "James!" she cried. "We did it! Full marks. You were right, they love bandanna man!"

James grinned haughtily. He met Carlos at the end of the walkway, waiting for him.

"How did you get to the modeling studio?" James asked, puzzled. "Easy" said Carlos. "You wrote down the address of the modeling studio. So I pretended I was asleep all morning. I snuck out of my room, grabbed the address of the studio that you had wrote down, and some crossing guard guy lead me there!"

Carlos jumped up and down and punched the air. "Yay for modeling studios!" he sang.

"Okay" said Katie to James. "Either he took another five hour energy, or just ate too much cocoa puffs again."

James found he couldn't get off the stage, because there was a crowd of people swarming around him, asking questions.

"James, what inspired you to be Bandanna Man?"

"James, who is bandanna man?"

"Can I get an autograph?"

James, pleased, signed a piece of paper for one of the judge's sons.

"Is it okay if we take pictures of the modeling studio?" one lady asked. "Sure" said James. More publicity!

Two hours later, James and Katie were beat, but there were even more people swarming around them then ever. People had invited their cousins, and friends, and pretty much everyone on the block.

"Um, _we have to go now_!" Katie yelled at the crowd. They grew silent. "Can we sleep here?" one guy pleaded.

"No, out!" Katie exclaimed. "Fine" the guy muttered. "At least I get to show everyone my James Maslow t-shirt!"

"What did he mean?" James asked Katie as the crowd departed. Some had to get dragged out by others. "They have t-shirts with your faces on them!" Katie said. "And guess what else?" she added.

She pulled a lollipop out of her pocket. But it wasn't just _a _lollipop. It was _the _lollipop that had his face on the wrapper!

"My dream!" James yelled at the top of his lungs. He took the lollipop, and carefully put it into one of his bandannas, holding it like it was a bomb.

"Relax, the candy stores are having a field day", Katie said. "There's tons of lollipops with your face on them. They even came out with a new brand of marsmellows called Maslow-Mellows."

James jumped up, and raced off. "Where are you going?" Katie asked. "TO GET SOME MASLOW-MELLOWS!" James cried. Katie shook her head. She didn't want fame to go to James's head.

As James was about to get into the monorail, h saw Logan walking around, looking confused. "Logan?" James said. "How are you here?"

"You were on the news, James," said Logan. His eyebrows were all scrunched up. "There's something wrong with my phone! They're all looking for you, because they know I'm your friend. I have at least five thousand calls on here!"

He picked up his phone. "THIS IS NOT JAMES MASLO..._what?" _Logan yelled into the phone. He covered the receiver with his hand, and said "James, they want you to host a talk show!"

"Um…yes he would love to," said Logan to the guy on the other end. He hung up.

"I'm gonna have my own talk show!" James gloated. "Not so fast, do you know they want you to host it in Portugal?" Logan asked. "No, where's that?" James inquired.

"On the western end of the Iberian Peninsula, just west of Spain." Logan replied.

"I'M HAVING A TALK SHOW IN SPAIN?" James yelled. He did a whoop. "No, I said _Portugal" _Logan told him. "And you can not go to Portugal. You don't have enough money, or a passport!"

"Logan, you ruin all the fun!" James pouted. "I'm just trying to think logically", Logan said.

"Cone on, it's not like I'm really busy!" James said.

"James, you're gonna be really busy!" Katie yelled, racing towards him. "Five modeling agencies want you on the same day, to take pictures, and pay you for it! One thousand dollars every _hour_!"

"So I guess you won't be too busy then" Logan smirked. James hit him. 


	8. Chapter 8

Then, suddenly, James's phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello…" he began, but there was a beeping noise, and another voice yelled "HELLO? IS THIS JAMES MASLOW?"

"Yes, I…" James started to say, but then there was another beeping noise, and a new voice was on the phone with an accent. James felt totally lost as the guy on the other end said "Hallo, ist dieser James Maslow, bitte?"

"James!" Katie yelled. She held up a handful of thousand dollar bills. "I sold one of your headshots, and some girl gave me $8,670.00" for it!" She and James did a hi-five.

"That's great!" said Logan. "So if you and Katie split it you'd each get $4,335.00! And…"

"Logan, go make yourself useful" Katie said. "Go back to the Palm Woods, and get my stolen phone collection. With all these people calling at once, we're never going to be able to get anywhere with just one phone!"

"But the Palm Woods is miles from here!" Logan protested. "So?" Katie demanded. Logan, looking insulted, ran off.

"This is amazing!" James burst out. "All I wanted was a modeling job!" "Well, this could definitely top a modeling job!" Katie agreed.

"So when do I start modeling?" James asked. "Not till tomorrow" Katie replied. "So we can relax." "How do you have a stolen phone collection?" James inquired. "You stole phones?"

Katie just gave James that I've-got-a-secret-and-I'm-not-telling look.

James made himself busy by gloating again. "Bandanna man makes Superman look like Elmo" James scoffed. Katie had to strain herself to not roll her eyes.

Meanwhile, Logan, completely out of breath, was dashing along the side of the Palm Woods pool.

"Hi Logan!" Camille called to him, as he passed. Logan skidded to a halt. "Oh, hi" said Logan. "I can't talk now. I have to, um…polish my…windows."

He tried to run off, but Camille grabbed him by his shirt collar. "Did I mention that you're a horrible liar?" she said to him. Logan turned red. "Look, you can't tell anyone, but it's about James's modeling…"

"Camille!" yelled Jo from the other side of the pool. "Come and see this!" Camille whipped around and let go of Logan's collar, and he sped off.

Once he got up to 2J, he wondered how he would ask Mrs. Schmidt where Katie kept her stolen phones.

Back at the modeling studio, James and Katie were talking together about James's plans for modeling. James practiced his poses, and Katie, doing her job as manager, picked out which poses James looked best in.

When Logan arrived, completely out of breath with the phones, James took two of them, and so did Katie. "Uh…there's some French guy on here…" said Katie, completely lost. "It's okay, I got it" said Logan. He took the phone from her.

_Logan speaks French? _Katie mouthed to James. "Que…um, voules vous?" Logan stammered.

"I wouldn't take my time learning French, when I'm gonna be a famous model, because, I mean, modeling is so much better than anything else…" James boasted.

"Your gloating is making my insides curdle" Katie muttered. They talked on the phones for hours, but Katie started to lose her voice, and Logan's brain was tired, because, continently, he also knew some Spanish, Italian, Farsi, Greek, and Portuguese.

James and Katie were both talking on two phones at once. "Why don't we take a break?" Katie asked. "Besides, James doesn't have to come back to model until tomorrow." "Good" said Logan.

They walked back to the Palm Woods. Everyone was waiting for James there. Jo, Guitar Dude, Camille, The Jennifers, Tyler, and Suntan Lotion Girl, who actually asked James for an autograph.

_I'm famous! _James kept thinking.

That night, Mrs. Schmidt ordered pizza, and invited Camille and Jo over. They all watched the News Channel, where they were rerunning James's modeling on the runway. When the news guy showed pictures of James's modeling studio, they all freaked out.

"How did you get that studio?" Jo asked. "We…just found it" said James lamely. But they were all in too much of a good mood to be suspicious.

"I don't get it!" Carlos kept saying. "How does the monorail work? What's it made of?"

"Hey, to get into the house, the monorail has to go into a hole in the roof!" Logan said excitedly. "They had holes in their roofs in ancient Sumer, and they would climb into ladders to get inside!"

James looked at Logan. "Logan, do you want me to drop your Social Studies book down the garbage disposal again?" James asked.

"And how are there flowers everywhere on the lawn?" Camille asked. "They're artificial" Katie explained.

As Carlos ate his sixth slice of pizza, he threw up. Katie made a face at him. She hadn't even finished her first slice.

Carlos wanted to watch Twilight Zone, but Mrs. Schmidt ruled that one out right away, so then Carlos put on Star Trek. "You're so obsessed with T.V." Logan told Carlos, rolling his eyes.

"And that's a bad thing because…"Carlos said. Katie thought Star Trek was really boring. "Come on!" said Carlos. "It's really fascinating!"

So Katie had grabbed a blanket, and fallen asleep on the couch. "Who's the baldie flying the ship thingie?" James asked, pointing to the screen.

"Do all of you hate Star Trek?" Carlos moaned.

Star Trek was boring everyone. James took his bandannas out, and started to arrange them in piles. Jo was talking to Kendall. "…So I saw Carlos wham you with his hockey stick" Jo was saying. "I don't think hockey is that safe, anyway!"

Kendall frowned. "I'm assuring you, it's safe!" he said. "Well, unless you don't know how to skate…or if Carlos is really mad at the time. Jo laughed. "But I still think it's kinda…I don't know" she said.

Logan, who was really tired, did a little sigh, and his head dropped onto Camille's shoulder. Camille didn't seem to mind.

Then, just as James was drifting off, he heard a loud trumpet blare out a few notes. Then a drumbeat, and a whole band.

Confused, he opened the window. The music got louder. "WHAT KIND OF TURD-POT PLAYS A BAND AT NINE…" but then James stopped yelling. Because the band was for…_him! _The people had on James Maslow t-shirts…some of them were holding banners and signs.

"It's him!" said one of the people from below, pointing up at James with her flute. "WOO HOO!" a freckled trumpet player yelled. "LONG LIVE BANANNA MAN!"


	9. Chapter 9

James jumped. This was all for him! A band!

"Can we get your autograph?" begged a flute player, who was helping two others hold up a banner with James's face on it. "That's not how you ask him!" snorted the trumpet player. "James, may we please get one of your autographs? I know it's asking a lot, and I don't think you're supposed to be talking to people such as me, who are so low down…" his voice trailed off.

"Uh…I'm tired right now, so…maybe tomorrow?" James asked. The band all nodded at him. They adjusted their instruments, and resumed playing.

"What's that?" Logan muttered groggily. James turned around. "Oh, it's a band for me" James replied, as if he was commenting on the weather.

"CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN?" James yelled out the window at the band. They instantly stopped. "Sure, do you want anything else?" the flute player asked. "That's not how you ask _James Maslow _anything!" the trumpet player shot at her.

James shook his head. _A whole band for him! _He really hoped he wasn't dreaming. Kendall, Carlos, Logan and James got up to bed. Kendall had to carry Katie into her room, because she didn't feel like getting up.

When James woke up in the morning, he took a two hour shower, and spent half an hour combing his hair. Kendall, who was already up, watched James tie and untie his bandanna seventeen times, before yelling "YOUR BANDANNA LOOKS FINE!"

James jumped. "I have to look good for the press" he replied. Kendall rolled his eyes. "Well, this is _my _bathroom, you know! Come on, I have to brush my teeth!"

James made an impatient noise, and walked out of the bathroom. He resumed tying his bandanna in front of the mirror.

"Carlos, no, _that's my math homework!" _Logan muttered in his sleep. James threw a pillow at him. "Get up, it's a dream!" James told Logan.

"Yeah, I wouldn't destroy your math!" Carlos assured him. "Well, at least not to your face…" he added.

As James exited the Palm Woods, he had barely taken half a dozen steps, when a voice yelled, "IT'S HIM!"

James looked around, and saw a band member pointing frantically at him. James remembered from last night. "You said you'd give as an autograph", the band player reminded him.

James pulled at his bandanna. "Well…I didn't really expect you to take me seriously", he muttered. "Well, we did!" said the band member, jumping up and down.

James loved fans, but…overenthusiastic band players? Not really your typical normal fan.

"Oh, don't mind Kyle!" said the trumpet player, pushing the other boy away. "He's always demanding stuff! Anyway, can you sign an autograph?" he added hopefully.

James signed one for him, and the band members got into a big fight about who got to hold the autograph first. Then, Kyle spotted Logan and Kendall, and yelled, "JAMES MASLOW'S BEST FRIENDS!" he cried.

Half the band members took off towards them. "HEY, I'M GETTING CLAUSTRAPHOBIA!" Logan yelled, as the band members swarmed around him and Kendall.

James looked around, and was surprised to see Katie at his side. "Come on, you have to model, remember?" she asked. James started to walk away with her, and all the band members followed, bringing Kendall and Logan with them.

James's stomach turned when he spotted his studio. Thousands of people were hanging out there, and it took him an hour to get past them all.

The modeling agency didn't mind that James was late. Both the photographers asked James for an autograph, and were both shocked when James signed them an autograph for them.

But then, suddenly, the doors to his studio burst open, and hundreds of people came swarming in.

"James, we need you for a talk show" called a lady. "No way!" said a guy, pushing past her. "I need James for a bandanna man commercial. He can advertise bandannas, and I'll become rich!"

"Not so fast!" said another guy. James covered his ears, and yelled "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

The crowd grew silent. "What, do you need an aspirin?" one of the photographers asked. "NO!" exploded James. "I JUST NEED PEACE AND QUIET! I JUST NEED QUIET!"

He ran out of the room, and opened the door to the bedroom Katie had made for him. There were gold hangings on his bed. He had never had gold hangings on his bed before!

"This is too rich for me!" he exclaimed. He ripped the hangings off his bed, and got in, He burrowed under the covers, and stewed there for an hour.

When he woke up, the first thing he saw was the light shining through his jewel encrusted window. _Jewel encrusted window, is everything jewel encrusted now? _James thought seethingly. He lay there, and wondered if he should get up. Eventually, he did.

When he opened the door to the modeling part of the studio, he found it empty. Even the cameras were gone. James sighed, relief floating into him.

James jumped, and skidded on the floor, because he heard a loud trumpet blare out a tune. _Oh, no, _he thought. He flung open his _jewel encrusted _door, and nearly had a panic attack. The band members had brought friends!

James covered his ears, and looked around. There were at least twenty different band groups, with different uniforms. Under other circumstances, James would've liked the music, but now, he just yelled "QUIET!" He couldn't take it anymore. The bands sounded like screeching in his ears.

He could feel his face turning redder and redder. He spotted Kendall and Logan in the middle of the crowd, frantically trying to escape.

"What's wrong James?" asked a flute player. "Did you have too much to eat? Did you lose something, perhaps?"

James rounded on her, and yelled "I'M IN TOO MUCH OF A MODELING THING!"


	10. Chapter 10

James, angry, suddenly saw yellow lights popping up in front of his eyes. He wasn't gonna faint, was he? The thought scared him. He'd never fainted before.

The crowd started talking again, but suddenly, everything was quiet, and their voices were slipping away… everything was dark…

James lifted his eyelids open. He felt too weak to move. He tried to sit up, but failed. Had he fainted? He didn't remember anything. "Ow!" James yelled, suddenly aware of the throbbing pain on his ankle. He tried to lift up his ankle, but couldn't do it. He closed his eyes again…

"James!" Kendall and Logan yelled together. Kendall elbowed a kid out of the way, and he and Logan fought their way through the crowd, to their friend.

"What happened?" the trumpet player asked, stunned. "It was probably Liam's bad trumpet playing" one of the girls sniggered.

"James, what…" said Logan, to James, who was lying on the ground. James's eyes fluttered open for a moment. "Looks funny…" he muttered. "He's hallucinating", said Logan. "I think he is." "But, what's wrong?" Kendall asked, bewildered.

A hush fell over the front of the crowd, and gradually spread to the back. People were whispering. "We need a doctor" Logan muttered. James was moving his head side to side, weirdly.

"My ankle…" he muttered. Kendall had a look at the swelling bruise on James's ankle. "I think he sprained it when he fell" said Logan. "He needs a doctor, now!"

Then, suddenly, Katie was there, kneeling next to James, trying to tell something to Kendall, but couldn't seem to get the words out.

"I don't have a phone", said Kendall, but then his eyes widened. "Mom!" he and Katie said together. Katie jumped to her feet, and she, Kendall, and Logan ran off. "Stay with him, and make sure he doesn't get up!" Logan yelled over his shoulder at the band members.

"Come on!" yelled Katie, as they reached the Palm Woods. They knew their way back by now.

Mrs. Schmidt was ironing one of Kendal's shirts, when the three of them burst in. "Mom!" yelled Kendall. "It's James!"

"What's James?" Mrs. Schmidt asked, bemused.

"The band…and the studio…and James fainted…" Kendall babbled.

"Look, I haven't an idea what you're talking about!" Mrs. Schmidt said. "JAMES FAINTED!" Katie burst out.

Mrs. Schmidt ran to get her coat, having no idea where she was going, while Katie hid her face in her hands, and started crying. Kendall wanted to comfort her, but there was no time.

They raced out of 2J. Mrs. Schmidt ordered everyone to clear off, when they got to the studio. She approached James.

"Help him!" Katie said. "Alright" said Mrs. Schmidt in a business-like tone. We'll just…" but before she could finish, they heard a loud siren in the distance. "I didn't call a hospital!" said Kendall, confused. Katie and Logan just shook their heads at him, not understanding them.

The ambulance pulled up next to them, and a guy came out. His nametag said R. Drinkwine.

"I am correct in saying a boy just fainted?" the guy asked. They all nodded, and the guy bent over James, and checked his temperature, and did a lot other things too, that only Logan understood.

"Hmmm…nasty fever" Mr. Drinkwine said. "Heart's kinda slow, too. Yep. This one needs treatment."

He started to pick James up. "No!" Katie burst out, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes. "I won't let you!" She made a grab for James's arm, but missed. "Who called you anyway?"

"Some guy with a trumpet" Mr. Drinkwine replied. "Red uniform, freckles…?" Kendall asked. "Oh, great, not Liam the trumpet player!"

"Mom, that doctor guy's evil" Katie sniffled. "I bet he's not even a real doctor! Even his nametag says he drinks wine!"

Mrs. Schmidt gave Mr. Drinkwine an apologetic look as he placed James on a stretcher. "This is all just from fainting?" Mrs. Schmidt asked anxiously.

"No, apparently he's been under a lot of stress, and he has symptoms of claustrophobia" Mr. Drinkwine said. "Mighta fractured the ankle, and we might have to do a bit of internal stuff."

Katie let out a wail as Mr. Drinkwine drove his truck away.

"Katie, why are you so distressed, anyway?" Mrs. Schmidt asked. "I mean it's not your fault James is in the hospital!"

Katie shook her head. "Mom, it's _all_ my fault!" she cried.

"I wanted to help James get a modeling job, so I made a modeling studio for him, and smuggled him out of the Palm Woods and the night time, and he modeled, and soon he was famous, and not once did I think that James would become too famous, but he'll do anything for fame, but James just couldn't take it anymore, and it's all my fault that he's under stress!"

Mrs. Schmidt exchanged a look with Kendall and Logan as Katie took a gasp of breath.

"Look, honey, I'm sure James will make a full recovery" Mrs. Schmidt assured her. "And once I'm mad enough to yell again, I'll deal with you!"

She put her arm around her daughter, and they all walked to the Palm Woods in silence.

They crossed the pool together. All the others were there, too, even guitar dude. Guitar dude saw their depressed faces, and started strumming a sad tune.

"What's wrong?" said Jo, confused. "James is in the hospital", Mrs. Schmidt announced. "He has…um, claustrophobia, and a fractured ankle, and they might be doing some internal stuff, too, because his heartbeat isn't exactly…um, right."

Katie hung her head, and walked up to their apartment.

"He was under too much stress", said Kendall quietly. "He got too famous. And…it's kind of Katie's fault."

Jo and Camille exchanged shocked looks. Logan walked up to Camille and put his arms around her.

Mrs. Schmidt didn't want her kids under the impression that James was any more than a little sick. He was only sick…right? She shook her head. Or _is _he just sick? They were doctors, she told herself. They helped people get better. That was their job.

She had never liked hospitals, but if they helped James, she would never say another bad word about him. She saw Logan let go of Camille, and turn away, too depressed to be embarrassed.

This wasn't right. She expected to see James bursting out of the Palm Woods now, with that big grin on his face, perhaps boasting about something.

"Come on, I should make lunch" Mrs. Schmidt. "We can have some fish sticks! It _is _fish stick Friday!"

Kendall didn't even crack a smile at the old family joke. Mrs. Schmidt walked with Kendall and Logan back to the Palm Woods. Kendall was hanging his head, just like his sister always did whenever she was feeling distraught.

Logan was sniffling and wiping his eyes. _That's weird_, thought Mrs. Schmidt. She'd never seen Logan cry before.

They entered the apartment. There was a very tense silence. "Guys…what's up?" asked Carlos. He'd been watching Spongebob, but the smile drained from his face as he saw the looks on their faces. "Katie wouldn't tell me anything!"

Mrs. Schmidt explained all of it to Carlos. "So…that's it?" Carlos demanded gloomily. "He just got taken away with the wine guy?"

They all nodded. The boys ate a very little lunch, and Carlos, who ate faster than he blinked, couldn't eat one full dish stick.

Katie gave her mother a _you're crazy _look, when she offered her fish sticks. "So" said Katie quietly as her mom turned away. "I wonder if James's okay!"

"Mom won't let us visit him!" Kendall told her. "Hmmm…" said Katie. "Well, I know a way we could _see _him!"


	11. Chapter 11

"I put G.P.S. in James's pocket" Katie said. "I figured, if he was gonna be traveling the world, we should at least be able to see him!"

Katie took her phone. "Anything James is doing gets sent right into my phone" Katie said.

They all crowded around Katie. James was in the hospital bed. "Can you see what he's doing?" Carlos asked. Katie squinted. "Sleeping…I'm pretty sure" she replied.

A doctor came in and announced "James will be making a full recovery!" They all cheered. The doctor went into an explanation about how they didn't need to check anything internal, except for doing an x-ray.

Katie sighed with relief. "You know the owners of the house until I turned it into a modeling studio?" she asked. "Well, they're getting their house back." She dialed their number on her phone.

Then, there came a knock on the door. Kendall went to answer it, and outside, stood a million fans, yelling things at Kendall. "Will James make a full recovery Kendall?" someone asked. "Would you like to host the Bandanna Man commercial instead?"

"No!" said Kendall. "James is gonna be fine!"

"Really? What was wrong with him?" a reporter asked. A guy with a giant purple megaphone was yelling "James Maslow is making a full recovery! For everyone who didn't hear, James Maslow had made a full recovery! I repeat James…"

But before the guy could yell anything else, Logan pushed into the crowd, snatched the megaphone from the startled fan, and yelled into it "JAMES MASLOW HAS MOVED TO SCANDINAVIA!"

The crowd quieted. "What?" muttered a guy. "What is Scandinavia?"

"Uhh…NORWAY!" Logan yelled. "HE'S CURRENTLY LIVING ON THE FJORDS OF OSLO!"

There was more buttering. "What's a fjord?" "_What's Oslo?" _

"THE CAPITAL OF NORWAY!" Logan yelled. And, soon, the crowd started to clear out.

"_Finally!" _Kendall said. "I thought they'd never leave!"

"Fans are fans!" said Katie, joining them in the doorway and rolling her eyes.

"So…we should tell Mrs. Schmidt" Logan said. "Mom!" Katie yelled. "Mom! The doctors said James is okay!"

Mrs. Schmidt was so happy she didn't even ask Katie how she knew this. She started baking homemade cookies, which she only made on special occasions.

James met them outside the Palm Woods the next day. He was instructed to do very little walking, and was not allowed to be in the pool for a week.

"So!" said Katie at dinner. "James, I still have some lollipops with your face on the wrapper!"

James snatched the lollipop she held out to him, and tossed it over his shoulder. "Mmm! Lollipop!" Carlos cried, diving to catch it.

"I will never be a model again!" James announced. "By the way, Carlos, you were right. Being an ice cream taster _wouldn't _be a half bad job!"

"I knew it all along!" Carlos said proudly. Logan raised his eyebrows. 'Well, _I _want to use my _brains _for a job!" he said. "Oh, Logan, you'll never change!" said James. "Always thinking about smartness and brains…"

That night, James got into bed. His eyelids were heavy, and he tried to drift off, but found he couldn't. There was a little voice he couldn't get out of his head, going _"Can I have your autograph? Can I have your autograph? Can I have your autograph…?" _


End file.
